Chapter 1 Mother and Me

My father is trash.

I realized this when I was 10 years old, at my biological mother’s funeral.

”Say hello. Changjae, this is your new mother.”

The man who never showed up until his mother passed away, his father.

The father brought his new mother to his mother’s funeral.

She was a woman who was less than half the age of her father, who was over forty at the time.

”I wish my old friend good luck.”

The new mother, dressed in loose mourning clothes, greeted me with a stiff expression.

Looking at that face, I understood.

This woman is the one who took my father away from my mother and me.

Even to a naive child, she looked much younger and prettier than his deceased mother. My father must have been bewitched by this woman, which is why he abandoned my mother and me.

They even desecrated their mother’s funeral.

He should have roared, “How dare you show your face here? Get out of here!”

…but I couldn’t do that.

I don’t want to disrupt my mother’s final journey. Although she wasn’t a good mother, she was still my only mother.

I simply lowered my head, trying my best to appear mature, and fulfilled my duty as a mourner.

After the sorrowful funeral.

”That’s what my father said.”

”Changjae, you’ll stay at your new mom’s house for now. I’ll come pick you up once you’ve settled in.”

My father entrusted me to my new mother and went to live with another woman.

My father wasn’t just trash. He was an incorrigible bastard.

I didn’t realize this fact until I was entrusted to a new mother.

The new mother was exactly like her deceased biological mother.

A pitiful woman, similarly exploited and abandoned by her father.

However, unlike her biological mother, the new mother did not simply spend her days sighing.

”Just make yourself at home. This is your father’s house, which is also Chang-jae’s house.”

Is this woman heartless?

How can you laugh so calmly?

My mother harbored such resentment towards my father’s death until the very last moment.

My stepmother tried her best to treat me like her own son.

She always greets me with a smile and initiates conversation, constantly checking if I need anything and preparing food that I might like to eat every day.

She was the kind of person who raised other people’s children for ten years without ever saying a harsh word to them.

But I have never been able to accept such a mother.

Although he called her his mother, he never truly treated her as his biological mother.

Perhaps this is due to the ideas instilled in her by her birth mother over a long period of time.

My birth mother constantly instilled in me how cruel my father was and how vicious the woman who stole him was.

Naturally, I couldn’t help but view my stepmother through a lens of prejudice.

Even her kindness towards me seemed hypocritical; everything she did felt like she had ulterior motives.

”Father will be back soon. When he does, Changjae must become an outstanding adult and give Father a surprise.”

Actually, I never expected my father to return.

I just hoped my stepmother would also despise me and leave. That would prove she really was the bad woman I thought she was.

Ten years passed in this way.

As expected, the father did not return.

As a matter of course, my stepmother did not abandon me.

Ten years. A full ten years.

My stepmother spent the best ten years of her twenties raising me, a child with whom she had no blood relation.

My state of mind also gradually changed.

I understand that it’s impossible to care for someone else’s child for ten years straight through mere pretense. And raising me didn’t bring her anything in return.

It was only then that I realized how naive and stubborn I had been.

I was overwhelmed with shame.

How can I repay my mother?

How can I repay my mother for the ten years I took away from her?

After careful consideration

Tossing and turning in bed

Finally, I made up my mind.

I made the decision.

If my mother still misses my father, then that is the reason she raised me.

Since my father can’t do it, I will make my mother happy.

I am determined to protect her in my father’s place.

But… this idea is really not very good.

Acting rashly only resulted in pain for both my mother and me.

When I graduated from high school and came of age, I fled home and joined the army as if I were on the run.

Even after joining the army, I never took the initiative to contact my mother.

—That’s how it should be.

”Changjae, don’t worry, leave it to Mom. Okay?”

”Mother……”

How did things turn out this way?

”Close your eyes and think about the girl you like. Mom will take care of the rest for you.”

My mother unbuckled my belt with slightly trembling hands.

—At the critical moment of life and death, my mother was pulling down my pants.